i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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