I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
