I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
