No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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