I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
