I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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