I have demons in me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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