Don't you send me to vm
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
