I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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