Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
