i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
