So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
