ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize