cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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