I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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