I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize