based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize