so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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