ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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