Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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