Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
