The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
