Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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