He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
