Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
