you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
