Define "chronic" masturbator.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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