We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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