So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
