How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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