Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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