i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
