how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
