I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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