How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
