wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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