its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You are a genius and a whore.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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