just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
