is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
