Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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