everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
