tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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