what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
