3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
