you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
