if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
