ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
