Don't you send me to vm
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
