I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
