I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
