Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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