She announced her abortion via fbk
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
