Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
