My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
