I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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