well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
