Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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