Where is the hickey?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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