Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
