Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
