At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
