Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
