That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
