If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
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Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
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I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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