walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
